If you had spoken with me two days ago, you would have found me in the pits of despondency. Ok, perhaps a little less dramatic, but it still would have been pitiful.
Jon and I had decided to go on a walk before we turned in for the night. As we were walking down the street, an adorable cat came up to us wanting desperately to be pet. So, Jon and I being the accommodating couple that we are, acquiesced.
It was such a sweet cat, purring and constantly nudging us to be pet and scratched (behind the ears). The more we played with it, the more I secretly hoped we would take it home with us. It was so cuddly and affectionate (as far as cats go at least) and I was already running with the idea keeping it. It would be simple, because cats are low-maintenance. We wouldn't have to worry about feeding or walking it because of automatic food dispensers and litter boxes. If we decided to go away for a week, aforementioned utilities would take care of everything until we got back. It would have been great!
There was one small problem. We can't have pets where we live. In that moment however, that didn't matter. I was willing to compromise all integrity to bring it home.
Poor Jon. He had the unfortunate task of bringing me back to reality. He gently told me that we can't keep it because we signed a contract. No matter how adorable the animal might be, we couldn't renege on our word.
I was not happy.
Upon hearing "no", I stalked off leaving Jon behind still petting the cat. He caught up and asked me if I was ok. I proceeded to answer by listing off a set of grievances I thought we were suffering and how awful I thought our life was. We don't have any freedom! "We're locked in a stinking small house for another 5 months!" (that's near verbatim unfortunately). We can't have pets! Our house is too small! We have no storage space!....
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
If you imagine the sound of a baby crying, it wouldn't be too far off from how I sounded.
Cut to today. I have since changed my tune, or at least I've stopped complaining. It wasn't until after the sermon today in church that I really acknowledged how sinful I was being. Sam Storms, the pastor, preached on Job. Talk about a wake-up call. Job was a God fearing and honoring man. God saw this, and so did Satan. Satan accused Job of only being so godly because of all God's blessings towards him. God then allowed Satan to wreak havoc on Job's life in attempt to make him curse God. After the initial wave of destruction wrought by Satan (it got worse), one would think Job threw in the towel, fell apart, and cursed God.
No, rather, Job says this: "“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” Job 1:21
Woah.
Job lost EVERYTHING. His livestock, his servants, and his children. In spite of it all he praised God.
I couldn't bring home a cat and I fell apart.
Needless to say, I was deeply ashamed. I allowed my emotions to control my thoughts and nose dived into a mood/mentality of discontentment and anger because I didn't GET what I wanted. You would have thought I was in the midst of a great trial. If I could have a fraction of the faith Job had, I'd be miles ahead of where I am now. I have a lot of growing to do, but praise God that in spite of my sin, He has forgiven me and will continue to mold me into a woman worthy of bringing Him praise, honor, and glory. Praise God!
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